This week's controversy: Is Meghan Trainor's new single "Dear Future Husband" sexist?
Ugh. Not one to be left out of a crowd, I'll share my opinion. This should be fun....
I watched the video. I saw the 1950s theme which goes along with the singer's other pop hits. I saw her cooking in the kitchen and washing the floor, men coming to her door trying to woo her.
I also listened to they lyrics (p.s. that switch from "bed" to "kiss" was clever).
I can see how people would assume that it's sexist and as some are claiming, setting the women's movement back 50 years. Right, because in this culture, it would make sense that a silly little music video would have more power than things like birth control options or wage inequality.
While watching the video, I also used these hearing tunnels on the side of my head to listen to the words. I have to wonder how many of those claiming this to be anti-feminist did the same thing. I think we need to re-evaluate anatomy, because it appears now that people can speak without using their brains first.
I didn't hear a sexist woman. I heard the opposite. I heard a woman that listed what she wanted and what she was willing to give in return. Alexander Hamilton said "Those who stand for nothing will fall for anything." {Note: Yes, I am quoting a man in an article about sexism.}
If a person doesn't stand up and realize what they are looking for in a relationship of any kind, if they don't declare what they want out of it and what they are willing to give in return, they will fall for anything.
In dating terms, this could mean that if a person doesn't know their standards, they could fall for someone that doesn't quite make sense with them. In the end, while lessons will be learned, they won't get out of it what they want or need.
It also applies to a professional relationship. A person needs to know what they want out of a career and what they are willing to put in.
In Meghan Trainor's video, I don't see a woman bending at any opportunity to make her man happy. I see a confident and introspective person that knows what she wants and is laying it flat out on the table, take it or leave it. That's my kind of person.
As for the video, which I can assume is the biggest reasons for the sexist thinking...
Point 1: She was on her hands and knees scrubbing a floor. Guess what? I get on my hands and knees and scrub the floor. I used to have a mop, but it broke. Luckily, I still have these incredible things called hands that can be submerged into water and swipe a rag.
When the floor needs to be cleaned, I don't sit around and think about how to clean it without a mop. I don't anticipate or wait for my husband to clean it. I don't lower my capabilities, intelligence or confidence by literally lowering myself onto the floor. I see a dirty floor. I clean it. Because I like clean floors. And I can clean it. So....
Point 2: She cooks. Egad! Call the police! Did you see how many dirty dishes were on her counter? And her apron wasn't even dirty! Oh, I'm going to faint, get my smelling salts.
If you listen to the lyrics, she actually says "You got that 9 to 5/But, baby, so do I/So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies/I never learned to cook/But I can write a hook."
Okay, hold on now. Is she sexist for being in the kitchen and trying to cook? Or for not being able to cook? Or for telling the future husband not to expect her to cook? Or is it that she has a different talent and is very content with nurturing that and building a career off of it instead of letting the man bring home all the bacon?
Hm...................
I'm really shaking my head at this one. I don't see a single anti-feminist fallopian tube about it. And I don't think the singer was intending on making any sort of statement. I think she was singing a song about what she wants in a man and relationship. I think she made a video with a 1950s theme, showing her doing various activities inside and outside. I think the video was meant to be ironic and fit perfectly with the lyrics.
I think we all need to stop worrying about how we feel about scrubbing the floor and just scrub the damn floor.
I scrub the floors. I clean the house, take care of the kids, do the laundry and cook the suppers. I also take care of a garden, chop wood and use power tools. I like to read and I like to write. I have ovaries and one hell of a wicked temper. And I like beer with my steaks.
So I'm curious: what label to I fit into? Feminist? Anti-feminist? Girly-girl? Tomboy?
Why do you care what label I have affixed to me? More importantly, why would I care what label you try to slap me with?
I think we could all learn a lesson from this song and video. Not about feminism and sexism, but I think about inner confidence. We would all benefit from a healthy dose of honesty with ourselves. What do we want out of life? What are we willing to give in return to get what we want?
Because if you go in blind and don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. And I, for one, prefer standing.
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