I fear we've become a nation of spectators.
As I watched the news coverage last night on the indictment decision for Darren Wilson and the {appalling} coverage of the reactions that followed, I couldn't help but feel I was in ancient Rome, watching a captor fight off a starving tiger in a stadium packed with people.
We call this entertainment.
News media calls it a story.
Others see the opportunity to state their opinions, which are nothing more than feelings and interpretations displayed as facts. If you disagree, you're wrong. Enter the tiger.
Am I the only one aching today for our nation?
No, I refuse to believe that I am. However, I also know that when all the talk has settled, when the streets are brought back to order, when book deals are made and when media moves onto it's next "story," the wounds will still be there, waiting for suture.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
This is something we tell children to deal with bullying. It doesn't matter what someone says to or about you, as long as they don't physically hurt you. Physical pain can be seen by everyone else, but the emotional pain that words incur, well, that's just all in your head, so keep it there. Let it fester and burn until it takes over and then one day you're the one with the sticks and the stones. Because words don't hurt, so what does it matter what you say?
As spectators, we believe this. We don't think of how we use our words. Their only priority is to get our point across and make it stick, regardless of the method or consequences. We are right because we said so. We feel comfortable using these words in this wretched way without every giving them the chance to do good.
Words are powerful, but we give them the power. However, in this nation of spectators, we've learned to fear power unless it is ours. If the captive with the tiger kills the tiger, what happens? Is the crowd silent? In awe? In fear? Have all their shouting done nothing to improve the ability of the tiger or diminish the perseverance of the captive?
Okay, you may think I've gotten off topic. And yes, to a point, I've sensationalized. Last night, watching the news coverage of the decision and the following riots, we were a nation of spectators. This morning, as the sun rises on the destruction, the spectating continues as people collect on their bets and discuss in detail what they would have done had they been there. Because there is just a place and not where people live, not where children are born and raised. It's just a place on our TV.
And after all this talking, we'll be left with nothing but an empty arena waiting for the next battle.
I, for one, left the arena last night. I turned off the TV, got off the internet (after a call to boycott all media), and I read a book. Was I burying my head in the sand? Readjusting my rose colored glasses away from all the negativity? Yes. I was. I am extremely passive aggressive and the amount of anger everywhere last night made me physically hurt.
So - what do I think? I never met Michael Brown, and I don't know Darren Wilson. I'm not a cop. I didn't grow up with a degrading stereotype against me. I'm not from St. Lois and I wasn't there on August 9, 2014. I also wasn't in St. Lois last night. I wasn't a member of the grand jury. I never saw any evidence. So what's my opinion on it all?
I'm sad. I'm sad for the entire situation, because it's happened before and it will happen again. There will be more news coverage and more riots. There will be more anger and more pain.
Smoke bombs and tear gas disperse crowds, but hate will always stand its ground.
I encourage everyone today, to think before speaking and to speak with reason. Do you agree with the decision? Yes or no? And then what? THEN WHAT? Do you throw a molotov cocktail? Burn down a building? You might think that seems silly, and out of context, it does.
Does that mean the riots and those who took part in it were silly? Hell no. Nor does it mean they were in the wrong. It is simply a nation acting out in anger. And now that we're done, it's time for everyone to put away their anger, roll up their sleeves, and get to work on fixing it.
And I mean everyone. Because this isn't about cops, the justice system, black people, violence or any other random words you can string together to form an instant stereotype. It's about us as a nation. Our nation has a wound this morning. Do we let it sit and fester, get infected? I'd prefer to fix it, clean up the wound and nurture it back to health.
My sticks and stones will break your bones because your words hurt me.
And after the sticks and stone and bones are all broken, then what?
Then what?
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Monday, November 10, 2014
What I'm Teaching My Children About Thanksgiving
I couldn't believe it. There I was, standing in a home improvement store on November 1st, the day after Halloween, walking through aisles upon aisles cluttered with Christmas decor.
It was like a Christmas bomb had gone off. I could imagine the staff at 12:01am on November 1st, standing behind a safe barricade, detonating a tiny bomb. Tinsel, garland and sparkles fell all around in a flurry of fake snow. Bing Crosby's version of White Christmas echoed from the metal rafters. Plastic green trees popped up in rows, always perfectly round and fluffed, no messy turning to find the right side required. Ornaments hung in rows on displays, stockings made in China hung on plastic and cardboard fireplace mantels. "Tis' the Season" and plaques proclaiming "JOY" dotting the festive landscape. And let's not forget the giant inflatable Santa or his reindeer up top, waving to all the little boys and girls as they walk by with their want (I mean, Christmas) lists. Oh my, what a lovely sight to behold.
But I digress.
Because this isn't about Christmas.
Whoa. Wait, you say. This is the Christmas season! Halloween is over! Put together the tree! Hang the lights!
Slow your roll.
I took my son with me to town last night and was amazed at how many people had trees lit up in their large picture windows and balconies decorated with lights. My son, naturally, was very excited.
"Ooh, they're having Christmas! When will we have Christmas?"
I tried to explain that despite the decorations, music and ads on TV, that it wasn't Christmas yet. We would be getting our Christmas tree after Thanksgiving.
"Maybe they forgot about Thanksgiving," he innocently observed.
Yes, son, maybe they did forget about Thanksgiving.
This prompted me to ponder how I was going to teach my children about Thanksgiving, a valuable lesson that was so desperately needed in the wake of the Christmas explosion. But what was I going to teach them?
I'd grown up knowing that Thanksgiving was the beginning of the holiday season. It was a time for family to come together, to eat a great feast, to spend time together and to give thanks for all the blessings we've had during the year. It was about turkey and pumpkin pie and football and a warm house that smelled like cloves and laughter radiating from the kitchen.
After doing some research, I know what to teach my children about this "forgotten" holiday.
1) Thanksgiving is not an American holiday.
Celebrations of thanks can be found in almost all cultures and has happened long before the Pilgrims feasted with the Wampanoag tribe. Many cultures, including Egyptians, Greeks and Romans, would celebrate a successful fall harvest with a feast of giving thanks. There also wasn't just one Thanksgiving on a specified date each year, but whenever one was warranted. Usually, the feast ended some sort of fasting period due to limited resources.
2) Thanksgiving is a religious holiday for many cultures.
Who were people thanking for a successful harvest with this bountiful feast? Whichever god they believed in. It was truly a feast of giving thanks for all the hard work and good fortune that would allow them to sustain another winter or dry season, that would allow them and their children to continue living.
3) Thanksgiving has both political and economical aspirations.
Since English settlers first landed, versions of Thanksgiving were celebrated all over the colonies. It was typically in the fall to celebrate a successful harvest, or in the case of Puritans, whenever a feast of thanks was warranted. It wasn't until 1836, during the height of the civil war, that President Lincoln established Thanksgiving as the final Thursday in November. In his proclamation, he asked "all Americans to ask God to 'commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife' and to 'heal the wounds of the nation.'" (http://www.history.com/topics/thanksgiving/history-of-thanksgiving).
In 1939, President Franklin Roosevelt changed the date to the third Thursday in November to stimulate the economy after the Great Depression. This was solely to lengthen the holiday shopping period, so next time you want to blame corporate American for the commercialization of Christmas, hold your tongue. At the time, this was met with much opposition, and the holiday was moved back to the final Thursday in 1941.
By today's standards, the last quarter of the year is what makes or breaks most businesses. Black Friday has become a holiday all it's own, and as evident by this year, the scratching for more "economic stimulus" starts earlier than ever. Stores are now open on Thanksgiving in order to make a buck, and those people working are lured by that same buck with holiday pay and other perks. After working for corporate America, I can tell you that no matter how much the company says it is volunteer, it's not. Not everyone is allowed to volunteer, and if enough volunteers aren't garnered from the promises made, then voluntary becomes mandatory. This is part of the reason I left the corporate world to raise my children full time and to teach them that chasing the almighty dollar will not guarantee a happy nor productive life. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Okay, now I'm getting a little cynical. While this is the season of economic growth, I do appreciate that it is still the season of giving thanks. It has also become the season of giving. These are the things I will teach my children.
I will teach them to give thanks for our harvest of carrots, potatoes and onions in the cellar, of apples, zucchini and tomatoes in the freezer. They will give thanks for all the firewood we have to keep us warm during the winter. They will give thanks for the clothes on their back and the roof over their heads. I will teach them to give thanks to the Soldiers and Veterans that gave us our freedom. I will teach them to give thanks to the farmers and ranchers that provide us food.
I will even teach them to give thanks for their ability to go to a shopping center and exchange money for items. However, I will then teach them to give back by giving said items to those that need them. I will teach them to give to others, not because they have enough, but because no one should go without. I will teach them to help others, and not just during this time of year, but all year round.
The actual holiday of Thanksgiving may be on the verge of being forgotten, but the idea doesn't appear to be disappearing with it. Thanks have been giving long before a nationally recognized holiday, and it's up to me to teach my children to continue with that idea.
"Maybe they'll celebrate Thanksgiving after Christmas," my son said, regarding the house that already had the Christmas tree shining in the window.
What a beautiful concept. Sounds like I'm on the right track.
{P.S. - And for those of you that already have your trees and Christmas decorations up or are already planning your Black Friday shopping agenda, by no means do I intend to wag my finger. If the history of Thanksgiving proves anything, it's that everybody has their own traditions. I promise to also teach my children this. If that is your way of celebrating the season with your loved ones, then please, continue those traditions.}
sources: Plimoth Plantation. Thanksgiving History. http://www.plimoth.org/learn/MRL/read/thanksgiving-history
History.com. History of Thanksgiving. http://www.history.com/topics/thanksgiving/history-of-thanksgiving
It was like a Christmas bomb had gone off. I could imagine the staff at 12:01am on November 1st, standing behind a safe barricade, detonating a tiny bomb. Tinsel, garland and sparkles fell all around in a flurry of fake snow. Bing Crosby's version of White Christmas echoed from the metal rafters. Plastic green trees popped up in rows, always perfectly round and fluffed, no messy turning to find the right side required. Ornaments hung in rows on displays, stockings made in China hung on plastic and cardboard fireplace mantels. "Tis' the Season" and plaques proclaiming "JOY" dotting the festive landscape. And let's not forget the giant inflatable Santa or his reindeer up top, waving to all the little boys and girls as they walk by with their want (I mean, Christmas) lists. Oh my, what a lovely sight to behold.
But I digress.
Because this isn't about Christmas.
Whoa. Wait, you say. This is the Christmas season! Halloween is over! Put together the tree! Hang the lights!
Slow your roll.
I took my son with me to town last night and was amazed at how many people had trees lit up in their large picture windows and balconies decorated with lights. My son, naturally, was very excited.
"Ooh, they're having Christmas! When will we have Christmas?"
I tried to explain that despite the decorations, music and ads on TV, that it wasn't Christmas yet. We would be getting our Christmas tree after Thanksgiving.
"Maybe they forgot about Thanksgiving," he innocently observed.
Yes, son, maybe they did forget about Thanksgiving.
This prompted me to ponder how I was going to teach my children about Thanksgiving, a valuable lesson that was so desperately needed in the wake of the Christmas explosion. But what was I going to teach them?
I'd grown up knowing that Thanksgiving was the beginning of the holiday season. It was a time for family to come together, to eat a great feast, to spend time together and to give thanks for all the blessings we've had during the year. It was about turkey and pumpkin pie and football and a warm house that smelled like cloves and laughter radiating from the kitchen.
After doing some research, I know what to teach my children about this "forgotten" holiday.
1) Thanksgiving is not an American holiday.
Celebrations of thanks can be found in almost all cultures and has happened long before the Pilgrims feasted with the Wampanoag tribe. Many cultures, including Egyptians, Greeks and Romans, would celebrate a successful fall harvest with a feast of giving thanks. There also wasn't just one Thanksgiving on a specified date each year, but whenever one was warranted. Usually, the feast ended some sort of fasting period due to limited resources.
2) Thanksgiving is a religious holiday for many cultures.
Who were people thanking for a successful harvest with this bountiful feast? Whichever god they believed in. It was truly a feast of giving thanks for all the hard work and good fortune that would allow them to sustain another winter or dry season, that would allow them and their children to continue living.
3) Thanksgiving has both political and economical aspirations.
Since English settlers first landed, versions of Thanksgiving were celebrated all over the colonies. It was typically in the fall to celebrate a successful harvest, or in the case of Puritans, whenever a feast of thanks was warranted. It wasn't until 1836, during the height of the civil war, that President Lincoln established Thanksgiving as the final Thursday in November. In his proclamation, he asked "all Americans to ask God to 'commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife' and to 'heal the wounds of the nation.'" (http://www.history.com/topics/thanksgiving/history-of-thanksgiving).
In 1939, President Franklin Roosevelt changed the date to the third Thursday in November to stimulate the economy after the Great Depression. This was solely to lengthen the holiday shopping period, so next time you want to blame corporate American for the commercialization of Christmas, hold your tongue. At the time, this was met with much opposition, and the holiday was moved back to the final Thursday in 1941.
By today's standards, the last quarter of the year is what makes or breaks most businesses. Black Friday has become a holiday all it's own, and as evident by this year, the scratching for more "economic stimulus" starts earlier than ever. Stores are now open on Thanksgiving in order to make a buck, and those people working are lured by that same buck with holiday pay and other perks. After working for corporate America, I can tell you that no matter how much the company says it is volunteer, it's not. Not everyone is allowed to volunteer, and if enough volunteers aren't garnered from the promises made, then voluntary becomes mandatory. This is part of the reason I left the corporate world to raise my children full time and to teach them that chasing the almighty dollar will not guarantee a happy nor productive life. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Okay, now I'm getting a little cynical. While this is the season of economic growth, I do appreciate that it is still the season of giving thanks. It has also become the season of giving. These are the things I will teach my children.
I will teach them to give thanks for our harvest of carrots, potatoes and onions in the cellar, of apples, zucchini and tomatoes in the freezer. They will give thanks for all the firewood we have to keep us warm during the winter. They will give thanks for the clothes on their back and the roof over their heads. I will teach them to give thanks to the Soldiers and Veterans that gave us our freedom. I will teach them to give thanks to the farmers and ranchers that provide us food.
I will even teach them to give thanks for their ability to go to a shopping center and exchange money for items. However, I will then teach them to give back by giving said items to those that need them. I will teach them to give to others, not because they have enough, but because no one should go without. I will teach them to help others, and not just during this time of year, but all year round.
The actual holiday of Thanksgiving may be on the verge of being forgotten, but the idea doesn't appear to be disappearing with it. Thanks have been giving long before a nationally recognized holiday, and it's up to me to teach my children to continue with that idea.
"Maybe they'll celebrate Thanksgiving after Christmas," my son said, regarding the house that already had the Christmas tree shining in the window.
What a beautiful concept. Sounds like I'm on the right track.
{P.S. - And for those of you that already have your trees and Christmas decorations up or are already planning your Black Friday shopping agenda, by no means do I intend to wag my finger. If the history of Thanksgiving proves anything, it's that everybody has their own traditions. I promise to also teach my children this. If that is your way of celebrating the season with your loved ones, then please, continue those traditions.}
sources: Plimoth Plantation. Thanksgiving History. http://www.plimoth.org/learn/MRL/read/thanksgiving-history
History.com. History of Thanksgiving. http://www.history.com/topics/thanksgiving/history-of-thanksgiving
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