Poetry for Losers: A Love Story

Here is an excerpt from the short novel I'm currently working on. If you enjoy this, check out my books here.

She flew into the dark, trying to outrun the looks and whispers that were by now spreading across the entire island. She was flustered, embarrassed and hurt. These were feelings she thought she’d been impervious to, emotions she had risen above and conquered. She believed they held no power over her, and yet here she was, breaking down into tears on the lawn.

She finally stopped and sat on a bench by one of the many flower gardens. She held her head in her hands, feeling the surprise wetness of tears on her face. She’d ruined it. She knew she would. Of course she would. This wasn’t supposed to be about her, but she’d just stolen the night and now anyone would remember about Janessa and Kevin’s rehearsal dinner was the crazy sister who caused a scene.

“What’s the matter with you?” Ben asked, walking up to the bench.

She didn’t answer. She kept her face hidden in her hands. He was the last person she wanted to see right now, especially since she probably had mascara running down her cheeks.

He sat next to her and let out a big sigh.

“I don’t know what you heard, but I made it very clear that we did not sleep together last night. The first mention of ‘wild rumpus sex’ was out of your mouth, loudly, in front of everyone,” he explained in a clear, definitive tone.

It snapped her back.

She picked up her head, straightened her back and squared her shoulders. There was no condolence in his voice. No attempt at being sorry or making her feel better about the situation. No apology for an action that may have led to her weakness.

He wasn’t afraid of her. And he clearly didn’t feel sorry for her.

She wiped her cheeks and sniffled. She lifted her face and shook her hair back into place. She took a deep breath as she smoothed the hem of her dress with her perfectly manicured hands.

She looked over at him, her eyes dark, bold, piercing.

“You are absolutely right. Thank you for making that clear to everyone, including me,” she said in a flat tone. She paused and stared at him, waiting for a witty and striking response to leave her lips. All she could think of was how he had the perfect amount of stubble, how his cheekbones cast the perfect shadow in the moonlight, and how his blue eyes were staring back at her, waiting excitedly for her attack.

She looked away and stood to leave.

“Please tell my sister that I am sorry for causing a scene. Hopefully, she’ll understand and forgive me. I will see you tomorrow,” she said in the same flat tone before turning to walk away.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us,” he called after her.

She turned quickly to see him standing, smugly, with his hands in his pockets.

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” she asked, walking back towards him.

“It means that you put so much effort into having control and keeping your guard maintained that you’re missing the best things in life,” he replied effortlessly, unaffected by her approach.

“Excuse me? You don’t know me. One shared hotdog on a street corner does not constitute a relationship.”

“Of course not. That would elicit the possibility that you are capable of having a relationship, which you clearly are not. Except, possibly, with yourself. How is that going by the way?” he teased, leaning in slightly.

“It’s going great, actually. God, you’re such a typical chauvinist, standing here telling me that no woman can succeed without a man. Did you see what I did yesterday? That’s who I am.”

“I didn’t specify a relationship with a man. I simply said relationship, with anyone, really. Isn’t your sister getting married tomorrow? Isn’t it the rehearsal dinner tonight? And where are you? In a park somewhere defending yourself and your life. Couldn’t even take one night away from your ego,” he smirked.

Her breath caught in her throat.

“That was low,” she grumbled.

“It’s the truth,” he stated.

The world started to spin. Her chest tightened. She felt her knees begin to give.

What had he done? How was this happening? How did he find her weakness and how could he exploit it like this?

He wrapped his arms around her before she crumbled. He held her up, close to his chest and looked down at her. She looked up into his solemn face, inches away from hers.

“You are a powerful woman. You are capable of so many things but you constantly hold yourself back. Imagine what you could do if you let yourself live and breathe and enjoy the world,” he whispered.

The moonlight, his arms around her, her body already weak. She closed her eyes and waited.

And then it came, the feeling she’d been waiting for since that first night. She wasn’t resisting anymore. There it was, the soft, tender heat of his lips.

On her forehead.

She opened her eyes and looked up at him, searching for the acknowledgement of his error.

“You missed,” she said.

He smiled and lifted her up as if straightening out a rag doll. He let go of her and backed away.

“I’ll tell your sister that you are sorry for causing a scene. I’m sure she will forgive you. She is very sweet like that,” he replied. He turned and walked back to the party.

9 Things I Will Be Today

Today is Thursday, January 15, 2015. It's National Hat Day and National Strawberry Ice Cream Day (as if I needed an excuse...). On this day in history: Nixon halted military action against North Vietnam, the Packers beat the Chiefs in the first ever Super Bowl (wonder what the commercials were like), and Martin Luther King Jr. was born.

So today is pretty cool already. And while I can't really compete with the ending of a war or the birth of a civil rights activist, I am determined to be some awesome things today. Why? Because it's Thursday, January 15, and I can be awesome if I want to be.

Here's what I will be today:

1) A Dinosaur
Not that this really needs an explanation, but here it is. My daughter is obsessed with dinosaurs. She likes horses and dolls too, don't get me wrong, but she cuddles with little plastic figurines of dinos all night and cries if they fall out of bed. So today, I'll play dinosaurs with her.

2) A Maid
As with any day, I have some cleaning to do. Laundry, dishes, the dreaded litter boxes (why do we have cats again? Oh yeah, they sleep on our feet at night. Worth it.).

3) A Chef
The little people in my house like to eat, and by eat, I mean ask for food and then throw it at the wall. Regardless, I will cook food and give it to them.

4) A Teacher
My kids will ask me questions, mostly the question "Why?" To which I will need to supply an answer. Like, right now. From the top of my head. Because I'm a mom and therefore know everything about the universe. But besides that, I will also teach them to be patient with one another, to take a moment and try understand each other, to remember that they are siblings and that one day, they will only have each other. I will teach my kids to love, no matter what.

5) Angry
Speaking of #4, I will most likely lose my cool at least once today. I will probably yell. I will definitely regret it. Then I will talk to my children and explain to them what happened and how it wasn't okay for me to react that way. I will be more judicious to my emotions and the actions they result in.

6) A Student
I will learn a lot today about myself and my children, about the world around me and about the people that inhabit it. I will keep an open mind, refuse to dabble in the nonessential clutter in our media and use my powerful heart and brain for the greater good.

7) Beautiful (but a bit stinky)
I decided to forgo the shower this morning. The alarm went off and my flannel sheets, soft jammies and heated blanket simply said "not today." However, I refuse to allow the disheveled reflection in the mirror to make me feel like less of a human. I am beautiful, shower or not, and will not let shampoo or mascara determine my self worth.

8) Kind
I will smile at strangers. I will hold doors open. I will use a gentle voice of encouragement and patience when my toddler wants to do something by herself. I will not judge. I will listen. I will smile.

9) Happy
When I crawl into bed tonight, I will count my blessings: my babies, the food in our bellies, the roof over our heads, the fact that we are all healthy and together. These are the things I will be most thankful for.

What I won't be...
Perfect.
I refuse to hold myself to this standard. I am not perfect. Never have been. Never want to be. I will own my flaws and imperfections. I will own my place in this world and life and make the best out of it for every single second that I can. I will be me and I will love it.

The possibilities are endless. What do you want to be today?

One Horse Town: Perfect Life

This is an excerpt from my 4th short novel, One Horse Town. It will be released January 14, but is now available for pre-order here.

Also check out my other short novels available on Amazon.

One Horse Town: Perfect Life

“I’ve missed you,” she said quietly.

“I’ve missed you, too,” he said, leaning over and kissing her forehead.

“Just two more years, and then we can be together. I’ll move back home and teach, you’ll have the hardware store, and we’ll get married and have babies,” she said, her voice lifting with excitement. “And you can coach Little League, and we’ll just be happy,” she continued, turning toward him with a broad smile.

Instinctively, he smiled back. She’d had it all planned out, how their life would be, ever since their first date freshman year of high school. They were high school sweethearts, always would be, and that’s what high school sweethearts from small country towns did. They moved home, got married, had a family, and lived happily for the rest of their lives.

The sweet silence was broken by yelling and splashing a few hundred yards down the river. Jake and Becky looked at each other, making sure to lie completely still. In the distance, they could make out two female voices, along with a male. They were thrashing through the thick grass and jumping into the river.

“Is that Justin?” Becky asked.

“Yeah, I believe it is,” he replied. It was confirmed by one of the girls squealing his name, followed by a splash.

“We better get back. That means that Anna is all alone,” Becky said, sitting up and searching for her bra.

One Horse Town: Questions

This is an excerpt from Tallena Thom's 4th short novel, One Horse Town. It will be released January 14, but is now available for pre-order here.

Also check out other short novels available from Tallena Thom on Amazon. 

One Horse Town: Questions

When they got to the house, Jake started opening the door but noticed that Chris wasn’t moving.

“You coming?” Jake asked with his voice raspy from leftover liquor.

“Hell no. I’ve been in your shoes before. I’m not going in there,” Chris said, nervously eyeing the house that now seemed like a ten storied white fortress. “Also, you smell like day old fish.”

Jake grunted and, having no alternative, slowly stumbled across the yard, up the concrete steps and into the quiet farmhouse. His mom was standing at the kitchen counter, like she always was. Jake suddenly realized that she must have spent the majority of her life standing at that counter. Then he pictured Becky in that same position, standing there for the rest of her life. He couldn’t help but feel sad about this.

“Hey Ma,” he said quietly, even though she already knew it was him.

“Good morning Jake,” she said cheerfully. “What are you up to today?”

He stood for a moment. He had expected a flurry of questions. Where were you last night? How could you? What did you do to that poor girl? What are you going to do? The carelessness and ease of the question caught him off guard.

“Jake,” she said, turning around, a spatula in her hand. “You all right, honey?” 

Maybe she didn’t know. Maybe Chris was pulling his leg just trying to get him out of that damn boat and come face reality. 

“What do I do, Ma?” he asked, a tinge of fear in his voice. The question had escaped his lips before crossing his mind first.

“Well, I don’t know dear. What do you want to do?” her reply stoic. She turned and continued stirring the batter that was in a large ceramic bowl on the counter.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to do,” he said, dropping down into one of the kitchen chairs that circled the small round table.

“Well, I think you have quite a few options. What do you want to do?” she asked again.

“I don’t know,” he repeated.

“Jake, have you ever made a decision on your own?”

The question caught him. He looked at her, not sure if she had actually asked.

“You joined baseball because your brother played. You went to college because of the scholarship, and you came back home after your father died because you felt you had to. Have you ever made your own decision, for yourself?” She poured the batter into a cake pan as she asked, her back to him, as if she was instructing him how to make a cake instead of how to live his life.

“It’s time to grow up, Jake. It’s time to start making decisions based on what you want out of life, not what others do or expect of you. You’re a very smart boy. I’m surprised you haven’t used this to your advantage,” she continued, calmly putting the cake pan into the oven. “I think you need to go upstairs take a shower. I don’t know if you’re aware, but you smell like fish.”