A Little Sunday Rant

There's a lot of negativity in the world, especially in the news. It's easy to display your opinion as fact and to become upset with those who have a different opinion. It's also easy to debate with others who simply like the act of debating, thus judging and belittling others, without any positive action potentially coming out of said debate. There are far too many that don't understand a world outside their own personal bubble, and even more dangerous, those that simply don't care to understand it. Have an open mind people, and before we start pointing fingers at "the government" or "the politicians" or those places and people on the other side of the country or the other side of the oceans, realize that those aren't *things* but people. We are all people, and we need each other. Seclusion can deteriorate and kill a species, and even though there are billions of humans on this earth, we are secluding ourselves in other ways. The very advances in communication that were meant to bring us together are now giving us reasons to cast each other out and segregate each other. We group people into categories and decide if we like them or not, if we will listen to them or not, if we will help them or not and if we will be nice to them or not. What we should be doing is realizing we are all in the same category. We are all humans, capable of thinking and feeling and acting. We all have valuable opinions that should be heard. We all deserve help in our time of need without any expectations of a return favor. We all deserve a smile and a "How are you today?" because that can make a difference. Anger is such an easy emotion. It's easy to feel, easy to justify and easy to act on. It's easy to use as a weapon. It's easier to talk about and to talk with, easier to debate on and way too easy to teach. It takes little time to be angry but a lot of energy, leaving us with the false feeling of accomplishment that we have done something productive, when we have really just helped destroy ourselves a little more. What's hard is to listen - the real listening, without the thinking in your own head of your own thoughts and own opinions and own response while the other person is still talking. It's hard to listen, to attempt to understand what the other person is saying, to ask questions to clarify what you don't understand. In a given conversation, how many times do you say the word "I"? Count them next time. Just by taking that word out of the equation can turn talking into a conversation. When was the last time you felt genuinely happy for someone, or gave them a genuine compliment? When was the last time you didn't talk about yourself but kept turning the conversation onto the other person - not just to do it, but because you actually wanted to hear them? And was it good news they were sharing, or was it something evoking anger, injustice, or sadness? I don't watch the news. It's depressing. I read the news, sometimes, but I'm careful of what articles to read. I used to Twitter, but it's an awful place full of disparaging (albeit witty) comments. I do use Facebook, a lot, because I have family and friends on there, and if I don't want to see something, I can choose not to see it. I do my best to surround myself and my family with good people, and I'm happy to report that there are a lot of them out there. There is ugly in the world, and I realize that a world with only beauty simply cannot exist. Without the ugly, how will we appreciate the beauty? How would we learn from the ugly in order to help future generations?

You can call me a hippie, delusional, or unrealistic. I agree with all of it. But it's not about me. It's about my children and how I am teaching them to see the world and other people. I want them to see more than the corn fields that surround their quaint little country town. I want them to look at the corn and know that there is a world out beyond them, a giant, beautiful world, full of joy and controversy, the good and the bad. I want them to know that their attitude has a lot of power and that it impacts others to a much greater extent than they realize. I want them to use that power for good and to make a difference where one is needed. And I want them to know they can make that difference without bringing others down, without waging a war, without stepping on their fellow humans as a sacrifice for the greater good.

Now if you excuse me, I'm going to put on my rose-colored glasses and go out and enjoy this beautiful life.

Chickens of the World

"If you hang out with chickens, you're going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you're going to fly." ~ Dr. Steve Maraboli

Wait... What's wrong with chickens?

This is one of those inspirational quotes that strikes me as a little odd. Before I start, here is my disclaimer: I've never heard of Dr. Steve Maraboli. I Googled him and checked out his information. I have nothing personal against him, other than questioning and disagreeing with a lot of things he says. If you are a fan, no judgements on my part. If his work is helping you, I'm very happy for you. If you're not a fan, I'm not about to jump on any sort of bandwagon. If you don't know who he is, Google him now and form your own opinion.

Again, this isn't anything personal against the good Dr. himself. I just tend to question things, and when I read this quote my first question was "What's so bad about being a chicken?"

The quote itself is misleading and leaves a lot of questions besides this first one. Question number two: what does "chickens" mean? Is chicken a metaphor for "normal" or mundane or stupid? If so, that would make the eagles "special" or exciting or smart? Clearly, there are two distinct and separate identities being compared here. I get the eagle part. Why a chicken?

Okay, so chickens are chickens. They peck at the ground, they eat, they lay eggs, the day is done and yadda yadda yadda. They spend their life in a weird chicken daze where time doesn't exist and the world is just strange and it's best not to ask questions so just peck at the dirt and be a chicken. Is that the kind of chicken we're stereotyping here?

But what if you are a chicken? Is the quote then saying don't be a chicken? Don't be the thing that you were born to be, change the one thing about yourself that you can't change? That's an odd twist of inspiration.

Question number three: what do chickens clucking have to do with eagles soaring? If a true comparison is going to be made, then chickens clucking should be compared to eagles whistling. Fun fact: eagles are actually pretty quiet, emitting series of high-pitched whistles or single, soft notes. In that true comparison, it would read "if you hang out with chickens, you're going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you're going to whistle."

Turning it the other way and the comparison becomes an eagle flying to a chicken... flying. Yes, chickens can fly, although most domesticated chickens can usually only manage small bursts of flight over fences. But chickens do fly. So wouldn't the comparison then be "if you hang out with chickens, you're going to fly and if you hang out with eagles, you're going to fly?" For some odd reason, this one makes a lot more sense to me than the original.

Question number four: am I supposed to want to fly? Is that the ultimate goal of this quote? Flying is cool. Learn to fly. Hang out with the eagles. You'll be awesome. If this is the main aspect of the inspirational quote, then the first part is kind of unnecessary. "Hang out with eagles and you will fly." Those eight words have the exact same impact as the original without stereotyping chickens and their clucking.

Which begs question number five: why the chickens? We can actually leave the chickens out of it all together. There wasn't any reason for them to be involved other than to compare them to eagles. Let's do a visual: picture a chicken standing next to an eagle. Yep. They are different. They evoke different feelings. For me, a chicken makes me think of a farm and the country life and self-sustainable living and those thoughts give me warm fuzzies. An eagle makes me instantly proud to be an American and gives me the ideology that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I don't see a chicken and an eagle side by side and think that I need to choose or that one is better than the other. I see a chicken and an eagle. I sure as hell don't see an inspirational quote.

I do get the whole point of it, however. Why settle for okay when you can be spectacular? Don't just sit around and peck at the ground! Spread your wings and fly like a fierce eagle! Unless, of course, you're perfectly happy sitting around and pecking the ground. Unless, let's say flying is quite your thing. Unless you really have everything you want in that pen on the farm and you're grateful to have it. I mean, other chickens probably want to fly, and they should, but that doesn't mean you have to be like them.

Which brings me back to question number one: what's wrong with chickens? Why is being a chicken such a bad thing? Why should anyone feel bad about wanting to be a chicken? Chickens are cool, too.

So whether you cluck like a chicken or fly like an eagle or waddle like a duck or howl like a wolf or think like a human, there is only one question you need to ask yourself: Am I Happy? If the answer is no, then change it. You can do that. You're in control of your own happiness, if not by action, then by attitude. Make yourself happy.

And if the answer is yes, then congratulations. Cluck on, my chicken friend.