Mother's Day - 365 Days a Year

Mother's Day.

That magical day of the year when mommy gets breakfast in bed, presents, homemade cards, discounts at restaurants, maybe even a day at the spa.

That magical day.

Is still, only a day.

What the hell. I can't be the only mommy feeling slighted here...

Let's take a little trip over memory lane, shall we? First, the pregnancy. The heartburn, the muscle aches, the insomnia, the vomiting and nausea, the kicks to the spine. I loved being pregnant, some days, but mostly I was really just a host for this human parasite that craved (and then quickly rejected) everything. I wasn't a human. I was pregnant.

Then came the labor, the miracle of birth. My bones separated, my muscles tore - yes, flesh TORE apart. And that was after the contractions where my entire body felt like it was on fire. Medieval torture practices have nothing on birthing a baby. And that's if the epidural works as planned.

But wait. We're not out of the woods yet. Because while it took only 10 months for my body to be replaced by that of an unpredictably insane Beluga whale, it took a lot (LOT) longer to return back to normal. The emotional open palm slap to my ego from looking in the mirror was just a start. It took me 26 years to learn to love my body and how to dress it, and now I had to start all over, with stretch marks.

That's just the outward stuff, though. Inside, my body was on Defcon 2 trying to figure out what the hell was happening all the time. I swear, I felt like I was trying to save the Titanic with a minnow bucket. Oh, I have to pee. Like, right now. Like... I better stand up and... ah shit. Now I need new underwear. Yeah. Don't even ask about the pooping. Think a newborn's bodily functions are disgusting? I got that beat in spades, my friend.

Then the grand champion comes strolling in - brain and emotional function. Did you see that UPS commercial? Totally made me ugly cry for hours. We got another piece of junk mail? I can fix that - by taking an axe to the mailbox. No lies. Brain function and emotional control take the word 'irrational' to a whole new part of crazy town.

And for some reason, I went through all of it twice more...

Does all of the above give me the right to expect breakfast in bed? Hell yes it does. However, what if you didn't go through all of this?

What if, every day, you still wipe snotty noses? You still kiss ouchies and read books at night? You still teach right from wrong and give your heart to someone else and let them run away with it?

While my own mother is pretty freakin' awesome, I know a lot of other women in my life that have mommied me as well. I wouldn't be the person I am today without all of their influences. I also know a lot of women who are amazing people - traditional mothers or not - who earn my undying respect.

And they do it more than one day a year.

So, before a super special day is planned, take note. I'm not just a mommy today. I'm a mommy ALL THE TIME. 3pm or 3am, Wednesday or Saturday, December or May, 5 years ago or 20 years from now. I'm a mommy, and I will be for the rest of time. No matter what, my children will always be first and last on my mind. Because once I knew they were there, everything else simply became filler.

That, to me, is worth the kicks to the spine, the contractions, the stretch marks and medication-worthy mood swings. It's all worth it. And I would go through it all again in a heartbeat if it meant I could see those three beautiful faces staring up at me every day.

All I really want is for that to be acknowledged more than once a year. And for other types of mommies to be acknowledged as well. Believe it or not, carrying and birthing the baby is the easy part. The rest of it is where it gets a little dicey. It takes a special woman to step up to that challenge.

Take time (a lot of time, like mark off the whole day on your calendar), and let all the special women in your life know that you care about them. Mother or not, let them know you're blessed to have them in your life. 

And hey, if the spa robe fits, feel free to completely pamper mom for a day. Just make it more than an annual event. Next time you think of her or miss her or remember something funny about her - tell her. Telling a mommy you're thinking of them is powerful, because she thinks of you constantly.