Wednesday, May 7, 2014

The Trouble With Finding a Big Enough Soap Box

I worry about the future of humans and the world we are creating.

The internet is abuzz today with a picture of a 13-year-old entertainment heir in the same bed as a 20-year-old actor. Now before one goes any further in reading this article, a few things need to happen. First, put your big person thinking cap on and refrain from jumping to conclusions. This will require an open mind and the instinct to ask questions FIRST, without taking immediate action. I fear this process of thinking is becoming extinct in our culture, and here's why.

The photo itself is innocent enough. The 13-year-old girl is fully clothed and laying on her side at the end of the bed, possibly on the gentleman's feet, if anything. The young man is sitting up against a wall at the head of the bed, shirtless.

From this photo, I can infer pretty much only one thing and that's that the two people know each other. Oh, wait, I can't infer that. It is possible that this photo is part of a promotional shoot for a new record, movie, etc. They might not know each other beyond professional means.

According to the internet and everyone out there that feels the need to share a pointless opinion for entertainments sake, the following is being said about the photo:

1. They are dating.
2. They are dating and the parents didn't know, are now furious and wreaking havoc in their home life.
3. They are dating and the parents did know, making them the worst parenting role models to ever exist. As one article stated to the mother, "get your daughter in-line."
4. The young girl, a mere 13-years-old, is now in the infamous category of "dumb b***h."

And that's just from the few hours this morning. I shudder to think of what will be slandered about this picture over the next few days.

So what's my opinion? I think it's a picture. Are they dating? Maybe, but that's not really any of my business, is it now. There's no way to infer from the picture that they are in any sort of relationship, work-wise or other. Do her parent's know about this photo? Possibly. It's possible her parents were there when it was taken. It's possible they didn't know and are furious. Again, it's not really any of my business. If they are dating and her parents didn't know, should they be mad? I don't know, you'll have to ask her parents if it's really that important to you to know. Also, I'm not one to tell other people how to parent or feel about their children as, you know, it's their children and all. If they did know, are they bad parents and need to get their kids in line? Yeah, no, let's just not even go there. Parenting is hard enough without having a reserved slot in entertainment "news" and gossip magazines, so let's not start pointing the finger at parenting techniques, real or imagined.  Are either of the people in the photo "bad" for taking such a scathing piece of optical calamity? How about we refrain from labeling people as "bad" over something that we know nothing about. Who are we to judge the actions of others while turning a blind eye to our own?

If nothing else, this little photo has shown how creative humans can be, especially when bored and/or unhappy with our own lives to the point that we have to imagine the lives of others - and then make those imaginary lives public fodder. It was Eleanor Roosevelt that said  "Great minds discuss ideas, average mind discuss events and small minds discuss people." There is also the saying of "If you didn't see it with your own eyes or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth." The bible, of course, has many verses pertaining to judging others. My favorite is John 7:24, which reads "Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgement."

I'm glad I saw this story today. It's reminded me that I have the opportunity every day to raise three very intelligent and nonjudgmental human beings. I can teach them how jumping to conclusions is a futile movement. I can show them how judging others only makes us open to the same kind of ridicule. I can instill in them a natural curiosity and the ability to ask questions first and to seek to understand. Most importantly, I will let them know that while they may have an opinion about every situation, their opinion is not always right - or, for that matter - important. I hope they will be able to discern the difference in when their opinion will be shared for the greater good and promote progress rather than to hear their own voice.

As for the picture, whatever. I'll be thinking about it all day, I'm sure, but not because of the controversy. I'll be thinking about the people and families involved and sending them positive thoughts in hopes they can rise above whatever controversy has come to them.

And if it is all staged in attempt to get attention? Well, who am I to judge? I am, after all, writing a blog about it in hopes that people will read it.
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