International Peace Day and the White American Girl

I'm kind of at a loss...

I'm shaking my head so damn hard that I'm going to need a neck brace pretty soon.

Something has to change. Future generations are depending on us and I fear we are leaving them with severely inadequate tools and visions.

But I'm getting ahead of myself...

Today is the International Day of Peace. Established in 1981 and formally adopted in 2001, it is day devoted to strengthening the ideals of peace, both within and among all nations and peoples. On this day, non-violence and cease fire are requested.

You may not have known about this, but here in 'Merica, we're a-celebratin'. No, we're not putting down our guns or setting aside our unfounded fears and hate for one another. Instead, in an unprecedented move to banish all the horrors of war, genocide and violence that is occurring daily all over the world, five of our national fast food joints have teamed up to created the Peace Day Burger, complete with hashtag #peacedayburger.

Don't worry that over 200,000 people (including children) have been killed (included point blank executions) in Syria. Of those, about 18,866 were by their own government in air attacks, which attacked public places and hospitals and involved chemical warfare like chlorine and mustard gas. (Yourish, Lai and Watkins. "How Syrians Are Dying." New York Times 14 Sept. 2015)

It's okay, Syria. We won't make any exception to our refugee policy to accommodate you and give you safety in our country. And we also probably won't stop air bombing in hopes of taking out ISIS, despite the civilian casualties (oops, that was supposed to be a secret.) To show our sympathies, however, here's a gigantic factory-processed burger. Enjoy and you're welcome. Love, 'Merica.

I honestly fear for the future of my children and this country.

 Even forgetting about the atrocities that are happening in other parts of the world, we ourselves have had a very violent and not-so-understanding past. Forget that we forced roughly 70,000 Native Americans from their homes and onto reservations, many of them dying in the process; Or that as many as 127,000 Japanese-Americans were also taken from their homes and forced to live in internment camps for years.

That was just within our own nation. Do I even have to mention the devastation caused by the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Child labor in third world countries just for a pair of expensive and therefore social setting shoes? And someone explain to me how the war on terror and oil prices are connected, because I'm not an idiot and a little bit of a conspiracy theory nut.

Even today, violence plays on our news every day. We have racism, sexism and segregation of every degree. We find reasons to hate each other and lash out, using our "beliefs" as excuses to be assholes. We are no longer one nation and indivisible. Instead we are individuals, hungry with our own ideals, all scrambling to sit at the top of the totem pole and not giving one flying fuck about who we climb over in the process.

And why? So we can be the greatest country in the world?

I don't know if you've watched any world news in the last ten years, but that sounds about as great as being the roundest the cowpie in the pasture.

It might sound like I hate my country. I don't. I think the United States is a powerful, influential and inspiring nation. I realize how fortunate I am to live here and how easy I've had it. And, in true American fashion, I believe we could always do more. I'm seeing it happen. I'm seeing people standing up for other people and using their voices to help instead of hurt. I'm seeing a movement in this country that makes me proud to be an American. We are realizing that we have a greater responsibility, not just as a nation, but as individuals and human beings. 

Slowly, as we climb the totem pole, we begin helping others up with us, forming a human stair case and climb together. It's a slow climb, but we're still climbing.

"I believe that to meet the challenges of our times, human beings will have to develop a greater sense of universal responsibility. Each of us must learn to work not just for one self, one's own family or one's nation, but for the benefit of all humankind. Universal responsibility is the key to human survival, it is the foundation for world peace." ~ Dalai Lama

"Your job is not to judge. Your job is not to figure out if someone deserves something. Your job is to lift the fallen, to restore the broken, and to heal the hurting." ~ Joel Osteen

"If you're helping someone and expecting something in return, you're doing business, not kindness." ~ Unknown

 

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

So what do we do? How do we stop this cycle?

“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” ~ Edward Everett Hale

DO something. Stop judging. Take responsibility. Show kindness. Help others, regardless of why or what or how or who. Don't preach to others about what they should or shouldn't be doing. Just do and let them watch. Teach your children love instead of hate and to think instead of react.

This is my plan. No, I probably won't change the world. But the little bit of light I intend to shine might be the day break that someone else needs. And that might be the sunlight that shines through the rest of the world.

That's really all that one can hope for, that they spread a little light along their journey and that they leave this place a little better. I've never seen a hearse with a trailer hitch, but I have seen churches overflowing with the people and their kind words of sympathy over someone that left radiance in the world.

International Peace Day. There will be no cease-fires. Violence will still occur. But let's just take a moment to stop and think about what impact we have when it comes to peace. And then tomorrow, let's think about it again. And the next day. And every day until it becomes habit and that habit is seen in our actions and heard in our words.

I might just be a simple white American girl, born and raised in the Midwest. I've never lived through the nightmares of war, I've never been hungry or cold or forced from my home. But I do care about others, and this is what International Peace Day means to me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a casserole to put in the oven...

26 Thoughts About the 2015 VMA's From a 30 Year Old Mom

 It was a calm, relaxing Sunday night. The kids were in bed and I was ready to sit down and veg out on the couch in front of the TV.

And then my husband turned on the MTV VMA's. "Why?" I whined. Because he wanted to see what kind of shenanigans Miley Cyrus could think of. Fine. FINE.

I used to watch the VMA's religiously. Back when I was a young sprout and being socially relevant was important and I thought music stars ruled the world. Back when MTV played music and had TRL and the Real World (the good ones, not the fake ones). Back when life was good and so was the music.

Still, I couldn't avert my eyes. Or stop frowning. I officially have resting old lady face from watching. Now I have to do facial exercises. The fact that I know what those are is an indication I shouldn't have been watching in the first place...

1. Miley Cyrus did not disappoint as a host. She was all the wackiness and craziness that was expected. Yes, I actually liked her as a host. Plus, we got to see her tit. Actually, we got to see everything but her vagina. Mission accomplished, Miley.

2. Nicki Minaj is talented and beautiful. And she's obsessed with her hoo-ha. It must be where her power comes from. She made me glad that my little girls were still too little to see her as a role model. It terrifies me that when they are old enough, there will be another Nicki Minaj type performer to contend with. *Mental Note: Turn the VMA's into a public service announcement.*

3. She's no longer fighting with Taylor Swift, thanks to their on-stage performance. Wait - they were fighting? Huh, must have missed that between loads of laundry and nightly story time.

4. I was excited to see Macklemore, even if he's still having trouble dressing himself. Seriously, who lets him out of the house like that? Anyway, I also like his song. I found it a nice sharp contrast to the "let me grind my sex on you while we get drunk so you'll like me" tone of Ms. Minaj. Score one for the men.

5. The dude in the black skinny jeans, though. Seriously, how small were they?

6. Miley slammed herself in her opening monologue. This only made me like her more. And her skits were hilarious. Seriously, hilarious. She's one funny gal.

7. "When did Britney Spears get hot again?!" - direct quote from my husband.

8. Jared Leto's voice is much deeper - and sexier - than I expected. Now I am questioning a lot of things about myself...

9. T. Swift likes to stand up and dance. Because she's so tall. And has a beautiful Squad as a backdrop. That's going to be her next music video, folks. Just her dancing with super models in the background. And it will win - big. Not going to lie, I'd do it too.

10. The Weeknd danced in fire and everyone was impressed. Clearly, they've never experienced the joy of watching Jimi Hendrix light his guitar on fire. Come on people.

11. Rebel Wilson tried to make fun of police brutality. And people laughed...

12. Nicki Minaj's acceptance speech. What? Why was she using different voices? And then she called out Miley and they shut her mic off. Again, she's talented and beautiful, and yet she ruins it every time she opens her mouth to talk.

13. Miley handled the call out with grace and dignity, two words you'd never think of right away when hearing Miley Cyrus. And then she made fun of herself, again. Score another two points for Miley.

14. Iggy Azaelia popped up out of the stage and rapped for a minute. She forgot the memo about not wearing any clothes. Let the pregnancy rumors start. Oh, and she's gone. Never mind.

15. Beiber came, danced, sang a few words, and cried. Oh, and wore a harness. A large harness. A large, uncomfortable, confining harness. Which is probably why he was crying.

16. Not that Miley cared. She gave him - and his tears - the big brush off. Chalk up another one for my new fav lady.

17. There was 2 minutes of serious talk about social issues. The audience probably saw this as the perfect time to refill their glasses of Cognac or whatever "cool" thing the kids drink these days.

18. Tori Kelly rocked out. Yes. Best performance of the night.

19. Ugh. Kanye. Kanye, Kanye, Kanye. I fast forwarded through this whole thing after he listened to people cheer for him for over three solid minutes. Apparently he rambled? Put in a bid for president? Not even touching this one.

20. Who the hell are 21 Pilots and ASAP Rocky? Talk about a different turn from the sound of the night. Loved it. Raw talent, something you hardly ever see on MTV anymore.

21. T. Swift won for best video and she brought the Squad on stage with her. Like I said, that will be her next music video. In fact, this is the only way we will ever see her again.

22. And then we saw Miley's tit. Two hours and twenty minutes into the show. Yes, it took that long.

23. Her performance at the end of the show, however, left much to be desired. What was she singing? She loves pot? Or smokes peace? I'm confused. I'm thinking there was a message in there somewhere, but I couldn't focus my attention on anything long enough to understand.

24. Apparently the internet is upset that Miley wore fake dreads. Yes, people are upset and offended over fake hair. Out of EVERYTHING that happened during that show, THAT is what they are offended by.

25. People are also upset over the commercials that played during the show. Commercials? You mean you guys didn't record this shit and skip them? And you're supposed to be the smarter generation...

26. Oh, and people won awards. For things. Music, I think?

The 2015 MTV VMA's turned out to be the shit show we all expected. There's a reason it's the laughing stock of award shows. It was entertaining, in a side show "should I be looking at this?" kind of way. I felt fear, confusion, and happiness. Mostly fear, though.

Also, I am way too old for this shit.

How To Be a Bitch In 11 Easy Steps

I experienced the full spectrum of being a confident woman this weekend, one who doesn't take a lot of shit from anyone (male or female) and who when I speak my mind, people tend to listen.

I was surprised when the reactions to this was shock and horror that someone like me would think so highly of myself. Needless to say, there was some backlash. Luckily, my quick wit and sassy mouth stepped in and I didn't back down. This only furthered the assessment that I was, in fact, a bitch.

At first, I was hurt. I'm woman enough to admit that I cried about it. After a few days of feeling hurt and confused, I changed my attitude and decided to embrace the stereotype. I realized I exhibit all the characteristics that were being considered bitchy, and that I was proud of them. I refuse to apologize for them and if that makes me a bitch, that's what I'll be. Just remember, I'm being a bitch to you, so this is your one and only warning.

What makes me a bitch and why am I holding this degrading term in such high regard? Glad you asked...

1. Be a Woman
This one is automatic. The title of Bitch is one rightly reserved for the female gender. Men can be called "little bitches," but it doesn't hold the same negative connotation as it does for us sweet, tender things. It might be surprising (or not), but there have been more times in my life where my tits and ovaries alone have deemed me a bitch before I've even opened my opinionated mouth.

2. Be a Confident Woman
I was hot this weekend. It doesn't happen often, so I'm going to sing my own praises without shame. It was my goal and I succeeded. I was confident enough to take pride in my appearance and flaunt what mother nature gave me. Some find this to be inspiring. Others, as was so elegantly relayed to me this weekend, find it to be intimidating.

The downside to being one hot mama is that you instantly loose respect. People outright told me that this weekend and I felt it in the way they treated me. I didn't take the time to defend myself. I didn't have the time. I have more important people to spend that time on.

3. Speak Your Mind
Not only was I blessed with tits and ass, but a big, beautiful brain as well. It works wonderfully and just so happens to be connected to my mouth. If you want me to be quiet, find a genie and rub that lamp because that's your only hope.

4. Have Opinions
Not only is my brain beautiful, but it works. That's right, it's not just for show. I can think and speak and these are very powerful traits if used properly. No, you don't have to agree with my opinions and I don't have to agree with yours. If this keeps you from having a conversation with me, chances are my sassy ass would have destroyed you anyway. Congratulations on dodging a bullet.

5. Don't Take the Shit
If you would like me to do something, I am very agreeable and will happily oblige. If you ask nicely. If you treat me like an equal human being. I tend to treat people the way they treat me. If I'm not nice to you, that's why. If I don't like you for this reason, I'll let you know. 

6. See Through the Shit
 Likewise, if you try to sweet talk me but your intentions are less than honest, I will notice. It doesn't mean that I won't give you what you're wanting, but know that my generosity has a strict limit and several conditions. Limitations as in once and conditions as in this doesn't mean we are friends.

7. Don't Be a Sheep
I've never really been a follower. I tried it once, but I got bored. If I'm in a group and something is done or said that I don't agree with, I won't do it. I also don't give in to peer pressure. I won't necessarily call you on it since you are responsible for your own actions, but don't be surprised when I'm no longer around.

8. Travel Your Own Trail... Alone
I do what I want because I either want to or need to. I don't need a posse or someone by my side all the time. In fact, if you are by my side for an extended period of time, it's because you're fucking awesome and I trust you. That's a big thing. I am fine being solo and walking my path alone. Feel free to join me, but don't expect my priorities to change just because the occupancy has.

9. Expect a Certain Level of Respect
I am a human. This simple matter earns me respect. No, this doesn't mean I want to be held in higher regard than everyone else or that I think I'm queen shit. It means that I expect you to use manners and simply be a nice person, not just to me but to everyone. If you don't like me, that's fine. If you want to tell me this and tell me why, fine. But even a bitch such as myself can put differences aside and show some respect for another person. I don't know what you've been through or why you feel the way you do. I'm not going to make you feel like less of a human because of it either. I don't think it's wrong to expect this. Unrealistic, maybe, but not wrong.

10. Just Keep Smilin'
This has gotten me through countless tough moods and situations. Just smile. It will change your attitude, the vibe you emit and therefore the impression that others have of you. It will either make them smile too or piss them off. Either way, you're smiling, and that can never be a bad thing.

11. Don't Let the Bastards Wear You Down
My daddy always said this to me. At the end of the day, what other people think of you isn't important. You have people that know you and love you, so if one person thinks you're a total bitch, that's fine. Don't let them get to you because then they win. Their own insecurities gain power and they take it from your confidence. Don't let them take your power because they don't deserve it.


Be the Bitch. Hold the title. Know you're own heart and your own truth and you will always survive. Keep those close that see that heart and truth and love you for it. Forget those that don't take the time to look for it.

And never, ever, EVER apologize for other peoples opinions of you.