Friday, October 28, 2016

The Midwestern Feminist Takes on the Election

Uff Da.

Yeah. It's been a rough one, huh? I know. I can't wait for this election to be over. Except that the backlash from this historic presidential election might be worse than all the foolishness leading up to it.

I don't want to talk about the presidential election. Yes, I know who I'm voting for. Yes, I know why and I have my reasons. No, I won't tell you, possibly ever. There has been zero tolerance or acceptance in this election. People have used the election as an excuse for a socially accepted form of bullying by making others feel stupid or less of a person simply for their beliefs and opinions.

But I digress...

Anyway, in preparation for this election, I performed my ritual of becoming an informed voter this morning. I made a pot of strong hot coffee, sat down with my phone, and did a Google search for my local ballot.

{P.S. Did you know you can do this? If not, give it a try. Go to Google, type in your state name + election ballot, then type in your address. It will give you the National, State, and Local options you'll see on your ballot. Plus, it lets you do an internet search for the candidates and their issues directly from the list. Cool, right? Now go do it.}

See, I believe it is incredibly important to be an informed voter, and not just at the Presidential level. Yes, this presidential election will change the course of history for our nation. Whether that will be for better or worse is yet to be determined.

But I don't really care about the presidential election. Not anymore, for reasons stated above. What I do care about are the issues facing my state and local governments. It occurred to me, as it does every year, that I don't even know who is running, what positions we are electing for, or what measures will be on the ballot.

After an hour of research, now I know. Yep. One hour and I am now a knowledgeable voter whose voice will be heard.  It was not, however, without challenges. Here are a few thoughts I had while expanding my knowledge of this term's election ballot, particularly aimed towards candidates that are running.

1. If you're a candidate, no matter what position you are running for, get a website. A professional website. I was appalled to discover how many of the candidates running didn't have a website. To me, this means that they don't believe citizens will research them. To me, that means they think we are idiots that don't care and will simply choose them either because they are incumbent or are affiliated with a certain party. Unfortunately, this is true in some respect.

Still, get a professional website. Some of us, like me, actually want to know who you are and what you stand for.

2. On your professional website, don't ask me for money right away. No, I will not give you money. I don't know you. The worst offenders do this in pop-up form. Honestly. I'm not voting for you, regardless of your view of issues. This tells me that the only thing you want from me is my cash. Nope.

3. I want to know your stance on issues. I don't want to know about your family. I don't want to read biased news articles you've been featured in. I want to know where you stand on important issues that impact the citizens you will be representing, like me. I want to know what makes you qualified to represent me. Spoiler alert: Being well-dressed with the perfect smiling family in a professional portrait will not get my vote. I want to know what you think, what you fight for, and why you fight for it.

Is this really too much to ask for?

And on a second note, do I really have to vote in every category? If I either can't find information on either candidate or neither of them have proven to earn my vote, do I have to vote? Asking for a friend...

The point of this entire rant is that you can't rely on anyone else, especially the media, to give you information. You have to go out and get it and then form your own opinion. For example, there are five measures on the ballot for North Dakota this year. I've only heard of one of them (through propaganda so eloquently slipped into my mailbox on a weekly basis. Hey, by the way, my toddler can't vote. Stop sending her political spam.) I wouldn't have had any clue if I hadn't taken an early look at the ballot.

One of the issues that is hot in my state right now is the pipeline. Again, I'm not going to go into it. If you want to know, look it up. Anyway, turns out that some candidates that have a large say in what happens are on the ballot. This is a great example of an issue that I care about, one that I want reflected during the election, and I have the opportunity to do that through voting. Through conscious and informed voting. See, that's how this thing works. It also turns out that candidates from different positions endorse each other in an effort to build a united front for their goals. This is important because it reflects on who else I will vote for.

Issues, people. It's all about the issues. Not just party affiliation. Issues, the future of the national, state, and local governments. All things that will impact you, your family, and your community for the next two to possibly eight years. That's a long time.

At least in this election, we are seeing the weening of being a party-dominated nation. We are no longer just a two party system. Candidates from other parties such as Independent and the Green party are making waves and being heard. There are options. It used to be that these were seen as crazies and no one voted for them simply on principle. Turns out the crazies aren't so crazy anymore compared to other options.

Many voters no longer side with just one single party, either. We are no longer Democrats or Republicans. We are Voters. We Care. We hear you, we see you, we want to know more, and we're not stupid.

Maybe that's the silver lining to come out of this disastrous display of democracy. We're Learning, as a country, together, the consequences of our actions. We're using our brains, relying on our experiences and beliefs. The internet may be full of misleading and biased information, but the facts are out there. Candidates can no longer hide behind big money or public appearances. We see into their private lives as much as their political agendas, and we're using this to make our judgements. No, not always sound or political judgements, but judgements the same.

Spend some time before you cast your vote to look at your local ballot. The information is there and it's public. Know what you will be voting on. Have an informed opinion about the choices you will make. It's easy to do.

Whatever you do, please please please don't boycott voting. You are an American. People all over the world, including women and minorities in this country, have fought for the right to vote. Don't waste it. Grow a spine and form an opinion. Be heard. Stand up for those that deserve it. Do the right thing. Take an hour out of your day, do your research, and Vote. Not casting a vote will not make a difference. The electoral college doesn't count votes not made or take silence into consideration.

VOTE.


Wednesday, March 9, 2016

International {Naked} Women's Day

The internet was full of celebration today. Thanks to hashtags like #OneDayIWill and #PledgeforParity, the female gender has now accomplished all of the equality that has been in despair since Adam so gratefully spared that rib.

Ooh! And we get to celebrate with wine! And let's make cupcakes! Happy International Women's Day!

...

According to www.internationalwomensday.com, on Tuesday, March 8, all women, men, children, international leaders, and cyborgs are to "Celebrate the social, economic, cultural and political achievement of women. Yet let's also be aware progress has slowed in many places across the world, so urgent action is needed to accelerate gender parity. Leaders across the world are pledging to take action as champions of gender parity."

Can I just note the irony that only 2 of the 7 leaders are women? Not that you need ovaries to champion gender parity for women, but... ya' know. Oh, and parity means "the state or condition of being equal, especially regarding status or pay." Also known as bitches wanna get paid.

Adding to the glory were, of course, the celebrity posts. Like from Kim Kardashian, who posted a nude (but censored) photo. In a surprise move, the internet lost it's shit, apparently forgetting the other 8,657 nude photos of Ms. Kardashian.

I have so many questions. So many. I want to sit Ms. Kardashian down and ask her questions just to see what falls out of her mouth. Then I want to get her drunk and hear the truth.

Let's not forget that this is a woman who has built a billion dollar entertainment industry on nothing. Literally, nothing. This talent has propelled her entire family into Hollywood gold as well. Every month, there is a new story. The Kardashian family has managed to remain at the top of our internet searches and "reality" TV fodder for at least the last 10 years. Despite the inability of Kim to keep her clothes on, she is anything but stupid.

The result of being able to put herself out there (pun intended) is that she is an easy target and a delectable one at that. This means, naturally, people hate her. A lot of people. A lot of opinionated, vocal, hilarious people. This is why we are always excited when a new Kim Nudie comes out. We don't care about the picture. We want to hear what people can come up with this time.

This time did not disappoint. Bette Midler took to Twitter, made an excellent point, and the lines were drawn. Some have said that Midler and other celebrities criticized the reality diva, Ms. Kardashian herself deeming the comments as "slut shaming." In their defense, the criticism was simple and fun joking.

Like I said, so many questions...

First, I just want to point out that a nude selfie plastered all over social media may not help the women's movement. However, in the modern and accepting time that is 2016, Kim is following the trend of using her sexuality to claim her empowerment. In a statement, Kim explained, "I am empowered by my body. I am empowered by my sexuality. I am empowered by feeling comfortable in my skin. I am empowered by showing the world my flaws and not being afraid of what anyone is going to say about me. And I hope that through this platform I have been given, I can encourage the same empowerment for girls and women all over the world."

Alright. Tatas and hoochie are empowering. I get it. Really. I do. It's a good statement. Clearly, Kim is comfortable in her skin. Also, clearly, skin sells and she's made a lot of money from it. For her, that means shedding all clothing at every chance possible. She's popular, and I have no doubt that she will inspire other women to be comfortable in their skin, embrace their flaws, and not be afraid of what people say.

If that's true, you'd think she'd have a tougher skin and ignore what people say. Then again, if she did that, there would be no Twitter feuds and no one would need to search for what people said and then no one would see her naked picture and then we all might forget about her for a day.

Again, she's not stupid. 

Next year, all women around the world can use this day to follow her path by embracing their birthday suit. To hell with burning bras. Let's take off all our clothes, post our naked bodies everywhere, prance around and let the titties breath. We'll run through fields with dandelion crowns nestled in our long hair. We'll throw parties with fondue and drink wine and share beauty tips. Because on International Women's Day, we should make sure that everyone knows that we're women. Here's our God given nakedness to prove it.

Oh, yeah, and we want equality and all that shit...

And then, on International Men's Day (November 19), the men can do the same thing. I don't know about you, but I'd be more than willing to see a socked Channing Tatum. Of course, he's also not afraid to show off his body either. Or make a movie where he gyrates and strips. In the name of equality, let's make sure to sling the term "slut shaming" at all those that are offended by a disrobed Channing Tatum.

In all honesty, I don't think International Women's Day is a real thing. I don't think Kim Kardashian made it better or worse. I don't think the "haters" that made such clever observances promoted the shaming of women.


Is gender inequality a thing? Yes. Is it important for a woman to feel proud of herself, her brain, her appearance - not just physical, but the appearance she projects into the world? Yes. The websites, world leaders, hashtags and celebrity nudes won't make one fucking difference in that aspect. Posting quotes about strong women won't change the mind of the economy and start handing out promotions or wage increases. It won't stop the slut shaming and the "weaker sex" mentality.

Am I a strong woman? You bet I am. Why? Because I was raised that way. I was surrounded by strong women, raised by strong women, told that I was a strong woman. Not just by the women, but by the men. The men I grew up with respected women. I always knew that women were equal - if not superior - to men.

And that can't be captured in a picture - sans clothing or not.

I get it. Kim Kardashian needs to be naked to feel powerful. That doesn't bother me, and it shouldn't bother you. Good for her. I hope that my girls will be able to look at their naked bodies and feel comfortable. I hope they will know that their strength comes from the inside and is shown in how they think, speak, and treat others.

What is a powerful woman? What will change the world? I don't think it can be defined. I think it means a lot of different things and can be seen in a lot of different ways. I don't think one single declaration will change the world.

The world is changed every day, by every woman. Naked or not.






Wednesday, March 2, 2016

The Great Want

About a month ago, I decided to take a break from the world, a sabbatical. I deactivated my Facebook account, deleted my blog, took a long dive off the edge of the earth. I wasn't happy. I needed to refocus. I needed to recenter myself. I was feeling a little worthless, like the world was against me at every turn. I was sad, angry, and selfish. I simply couldn't understand why I wasn't getting what I wanted - what I deserved. I'm a good person! I do good things! Look at all the good things I've done! Where is my reward?! I threw myself an epic pity party and was righteously pissed when no one showed up. So I did what I don't normally do - I sat, pouted, waited, threw fits to get attention. Look at me! Look how terrible my life is! Someone fix it for me!

Well... no one came to fix it.

Turns out, the only person that could fix it was too busy being mad at the world. Why? Why wasn't my life going the way I wanted it to? Why was this happening to me? Why was the world so ignorant to my needs?
 
Then the epiphany came...

The world doesn't need me. It doesn't need my thoughts, my opinions, my words. It can go on without me, none the worse or better. BUT - I need the world. I need to think. I need to feel. I need to learn. It's empowering, knowing you need something that doesn't need you back. In my world of chaos, it's refreshing to not be needed. My only purpose in the world is to GIVE, not receive. It owes me nothing and in return, I don't owe it anything, either. Instead, I CHOOSE to give what I want to. I can choose to give it good or I can choose to give it bad, but that choice reflects only on me. That choice impacts the people I love and those that love me. It doesn't do a damn thing to the world as a whole.

What this led me to realize is that my world is small. Yes, in this globetrotting, international business dominated, news traveling in a flash orb, my world is small. It is small, but important, and I am important to it. I am important to my family, my friends, my community. I can be important for good reasons or bad, and I am no more important than the next person.

But even this small world doesn't need me. It WANTS me. I found this out when I took that unannounced break and red flags sprang up all over.

It doesn't NEED my cynical face, my rants, or my raised eyebrow full of suspicion. It wants my kindness, my ability to see things from another point of view, and my knack for making people think.
Sometimes, we lose our place in the world. Sometimes, we forget what our world is, what it means to us, and who lives in it.

What don't I need or want from my world? Approval. Acceptance. A "good reputation." That's too much pressure to please everyone. It doesn't change who I am or how I think. I am who I am. Take it or leave it. The change is that how you treat me won't determine how I treat you. I'll still show you kindness, help you when you need it, speak only the good things or nothing at all. I'll learn my lessons and move on.

I woke up today and for the first time in a long time, I was happy. I had a list of things in my head that I wanted to do, not what I had to do. I wasn't sad, hopeless, or full of anger. I wanted to do better and be better. I felt like I had my world back, my rose colored glasses firmly in place, the understanding that my world doesn't NEED me but it WANTS me. That I have a place firmly planted in it.

The beautiful part is that it's wanted me all along. I just had to allow myself to be wanted.