International {Naked} Women's Day

The internet was full of celebration today. Thanks to hashtags like #OneDayIWill and #PledgeforParity, the female gender has now accomplished all of the equality that has been in despair since Adam so gratefully spared that rib.

Ooh! And we get to celebrate with wine! And let's make cupcakes! Happy International Women's Day!

...

According to www.internationalwomensday.com, on Tuesday, March 8, all women, men, children, international leaders, and cyborgs are to "Celebrate the social, economic, cultural and political achievement of women. Yet let's also be aware progress has slowed in many places across the world, so urgent action is needed to accelerate gender parity. Leaders across the world are pledging to take action as champions of gender parity."

Can I just note the irony that only 2 of the 7 leaders are women? Not that you need ovaries to champion gender parity for women, but... ya' know. Oh, and parity means "the state or condition of being equal, especially regarding status or pay." Also known as bitches wanna get paid.

Adding to the glory were, of course, the celebrity posts. Like from Kim Kardashian, who posted a nude (but censored) photo. In a surprise move, the internet lost it's shit, apparently forgetting the other 8,657 nude photos of Ms. Kardashian.

I have so many questions. So many. I want to sit Ms. Kardashian down and ask her questions just to see what falls out of her mouth. Then I want to get her drunk and hear the truth.

Let's not forget that this is a woman who has built a billion dollar entertainment industry on nothing. Literally, nothing. This talent has propelled her entire family into Hollywood gold as well. Every month, there is a new story. The Kardashian family has managed to remain at the top of our internet searches and "reality" TV fodder for at least the last 10 years. Despite the inability of Kim to keep her clothes on, she is anything but stupid.

The result of being able to put herself out there (pun intended) is that she is an easy target and a delectable one at that. This means, naturally, people hate her. A lot of people. A lot of opinionated, vocal, hilarious people. This is why we are always excited when a new Kim Nudie comes out. We don't care about the picture. We want to hear what people can come up with this time.

This time did not disappoint. Bette Midler took to Twitter, made an excellent point, and the lines were drawn. Some have said that Midler and other celebrities criticized the reality diva, Ms. Kardashian herself deeming the comments as "slut shaming." In their defense, the criticism was simple and fun joking.

Like I said, so many questions...

First, I just want to point out that a nude selfie plastered all over social media may not help the women's movement. However, in the modern and accepting time that is 2016, Kim is following the trend of using her sexuality to claim her empowerment. In a statement, Kim explained, "I am empowered by my body. I am empowered by my sexuality. I am empowered by feeling comfortable in my skin. I am empowered by showing the world my flaws and not being afraid of what anyone is going to say about me. And I hope that through this platform I have been given, I can encourage the same empowerment for girls and women all over the world."

Alright. Tatas and hoochie are empowering. I get it. Really. I do. It's a good statement. Clearly, Kim is comfortable in her skin. Also, clearly, skin sells and she's made a lot of money from it. For her, that means shedding all clothing at every chance possible. She's popular, and I have no doubt that she will inspire other women to be comfortable in their skin, embrace their flaws, and not be afraid of what people say.

If that's true, you'd think she'd have a tougher skin and ignore what people say. Then again, if she did that, there would be no Twitter feuds and no one would need to search for what people said and then no one would see her naked picture and then we all might forget about her for a day.

Again, she's not stupid. 

Next year, all women around the world can use this day to follow her path by embracing their birthday suit. To hell with burning bras. Let's take off all our clothes, post our naked bodies everywhere, prance around and let the titties breath. We'll run through fields with dandelion crowns nestled in our long hair. We'll throw parties with fondue and drink wine and share beauty tips. Because on International Women's Day, we should make sure that everyone knows that we're women. Here's our God given nakedness to prove it.

Oh, yeah, and we want equality and all that shit...

And then, on International Men's Day (November 19), the men can do the same thing. I don't know about you, but I'd be more than willing to see a socked Channing Tatum. Of course, he's also not afraid to show off his body either. Or make a movie where he gyrates and strips. In the name of equality, let's make sure to sling the term "slut shaming" at all those that are offended by a disrobed Channing Tatum.

In all honesty, I don't think International Women's Day is a real thing. I don't think Kim Kardashian made it better or worse. I don't think the "haters" that made such clever observances promoted the shaming of women.


Is gender inequality a thing? Yes. Is it important for a woman to feel proud of herself, her brain, her appearance - not just physical, but the appearance she projects into the world? Yes. The websites, world leaders, hashtags and celebrity nudes won't make one fucking difference in that aspect. Posting quotes about strong women won't change the mind of the economy and start handing out promotions or wage increases. It won't stop the slut shaming and the "weaker sex" mentality.

Am I a strong woman? You bet I am. Why? Because I was raised that way. I was surrounded by strong women, raised by strong women, told that I was a strong woman. Not just by the women, but by the men. The men I grew up with respected women. I always knew that women were equal - if not superior - to men.

And that can't be captured in a picture - sans clothing or not.

I get it. Kim Kardashian needs to be naked to feel powerful. That doesn't bother me, and it shouldn't bother you. Good for her. I hope that my girls will be able to look at their naked bodies and feel comfortable. I hope they will know that their strength comes from the inside and is shown in how they think, speak, and treat others.

What is a powerful woman? What will change the world? I don't think it can be defined. I think it means a lot of different things and can be seen in a lot of different ways. I don't think one single declaration will change the world.

The world is changed every day, by every woman. Naked or not.