Then there were two....

Hello all,

I realize it has been months since my last post, but it's been quite a turbulent four months. I have been sick, exhausted and sluggish and suddenly 24 hours in a day now seems like a mere 10, yet I still need to accomplish everything I did before AND etch out more time to take care of myself. Well, not just myself - myself and my growing bump. Yes, I am 4 months pregnant with our second child. And it's been a doozy.

Just to preface, my first pregnancy was a dream. No sickness, fatigue that passed rapidly followed by an extra high energy level, no kicks to the ribs or severe back/joint pain. And the delivery was also fantastic (really, it was). But this go around has been the complete opposite. I was warned about this by several experienced mothers, medical books and websites. But man, I had no idea how lucky I was the first time or how extreme pregnancy could get.

As I'm shuffling around the house trying to cope with my inabilities by whining nonstop, my husband simply looks at me and says "Why don't you just take some Advil or something?" As politely as possible I explain that pregnant women can't take Advil, or many other over the counter medications that have made modern life so convenient to live with. Instead, I get to "experience pregnancy." Okay, so those aren't the exact words I used, but I'd like to think that's what I would have said if I wasn't under the influence of hormones.

Here comes a stunning truth, one I didn't realize with my first pregnancy as I didn't have to: there are no modern mechanisms in place to make pregnancy easier on women. All of the modern conveniences are off limits to us. Why? Because what worked 50 or 100 years ago still works today. The methods and advice has proven to be safe and effective. Pregnancy is forced to remain a natural experience because the minds of scientists simply can't compete with the beautiful design of mother nature.

Now don't get me wrong, there are a few things out there that can help pregnant women cope with certain symptoms. However, after a visit to my doctor regarding some crippling morning sickness, I found that these are the very last resort. Instead, I was given tips as if I was talking to my grandmother. And you know what - they worked! This is not to say that I haven't had some help from over the counter, but the effectiveness of these was far less than the natural methods - and I was wary of possible side effects. So, here are some of the symptoms I've experienced and what I did to cope with them.

Fatigue: This was huge for me and probably the second most prevalent symptom. There were times I was so tired that I couldn't even get out of bed. Couple that with morning sickness and back pain and I threw in the white towel. This one may seem like a no-brainer, but the best remedy for fatigues is REST (I know, shocking...). I had to learn that if I was tired at 8 pm, then I needed to go to bed. This was particularly hard for me to deal with, as I'm used to being a super woman and running all day, taking care of things and other people and leaving myself a slim amount of time right before bed late at night to be by myself. I would eat at my desk, run from one meeting to another all day, then come home, feed the family, put them to bed and clean the house. Yeah, that all can't be done in one day while you're pregnant. It is impossible. So instead of cleaning the kitchen at night, I would lay down in bed and fall asleep. I had to reformat my schedule at work to account for frequent breaks. I had to push off deadlines so I could just walk away from my desk and take a time out. Mentally, this was hard. Physically, it was necessary.

Morning Sickness: Ah yes, the dreaded morning sickness. This has been a plague of mine from day one. Remember, with my first pregnancy I wasn't sick once. With this one, it was constant and oppressing. There were days where I would get so sick that I could feel it in every nerve in my body. I couldn't move, couldn't concentrate, couldn't exist. All I could do was curl up into a ball in bed and just lay there as if I was mortally wounded. This one was also hard because I would try something and find relief for a week, but then it would stop working and I'd be back to square one. I started with ginger and saltines, but then the ginger started tasting bitter and the saltines became concrete in my mouth, just making the sickness worse. I then tried sticking to carb-loaded foods and snacking throughout the day, but after a few days I became intolerant of all food and wasn't able to eat for about a week. This was probably the lowest point in my pregnancy as I was not someone you wanted to be around. I don't think I saw my husband for a whole two weeks - which was good, because I was not a nice person. Then I tried flat pop, but this too eventually made me sick. I tried eating certain foods, but they all turned on me, to the point that if I even looked at a box of Carnation Instant Breakfast that I would get the gag reflex and have to think of pretty wildflowers in a summer field just to keep me from upchucking in the middle of the grocery store. Honestly, there wasn't really anything I could do for this. I just had to let it pass. Slowly, I began getting cravings. First it was turkey sandwiches with mayo, lettuce and tomato. Then it was steak. Then it was tuna with mayo (bread was optional - I would eat it right out of a bowl). Then it was cereal. Now I'm craving BLT sandwiches and root beer. But the good news is that I can eat, and I think that's been the key. I have to eat right away in the morning - usually a bowl of cereal. I also have to eat right before bed or I don't sleep well. I also have to eat multiple times a day and often have 2 breakfasts, 2 lunches, 2 dinners and snacks throughout the day. I've learned to always keep food around me and prepare for any type of craving I might have. The good news is that by eating so many meals a day, it forces me to take breaks as well so I can sit, eat slow, and digest my food. I also have to stay very hydrated, meaning I've been drinking a lot of water, tea (caffeine free) and orange juice.

Back/Joint pain: I was surprised when this hit me at only 4 months. I was well into my 6th or 7th month with the first one. But then again, I've also gotten a lot bigger a lot faster the second time around (this is normal - not flattering, but normal). I thought the solution again would be rest, to slow down and take it easy, but this actually only made it worse. The actual answer is movement. I have a desk job, and with my tainted energy level and extra weight, I found myself sitting even more. When I would stand, there would be nothing but pain from the middle of my back all the way down. Once I would move, it would feel better. Naturally then, I figured out that I can't sit in one spot for hours at a time. I have to move and use my joints and muscles. Stretching is also very important to keep your muscles from getting tight (which really really hurts). Sometimes at night, I'll sit with a heating pad on my lower back, but again, this is only for about an hour and then I immediately get up to move when my muscles are relaxed.

Colds and coughs: I was hit with a pretty harsh cold a few months ago and was coughing so bad I would get severe head aches. I've never been a fan of cough drops (they only seem to work while you have one in your mouth), and it got to the point where I just couldn't get over it. I broke down and bought some Robitussin, which is safe for pregnant women. However, it didn't seem to work. It helped the cough, sure, but only for a short period of time and it just seemed to delay the inevitable. And then a coworker reminded me of honey and lemon water. Of course! I switched it up a bit and put lemon slices in my ice water. I bought some good tea and put honey in it. Within a week, I was feeling better, still coughing but not nearly as bad as before. My cough was completely gone within two weeks.

Pregnancy Brain: People laugh when they hear this because they think it's an excuse that pregnant women use. But I'm telling you, it's true. I forget things all the time. I lose my train of thought while mid sentence, even more than usual. Someone will be talking to me and my mind will just flutter away to someplace else and I'll be staring at the person like a drooling fool. So what can be done about this? Write things down. Leave yourself notes. Tape them to the mirror if you have to. And if you do forget, well, it's just pregnancy brain and those things happen.

There are a few over the counter medicines that helped my through the early stages and are still necessary. The first is iron. My doctor informed me that I was low on iron, so I should start taking supplements. The correct answer would have been to follow a strict diet to ensure I'm getting enough iron, however, this has never been my style and would have been especially hard with all the food aversions I was dealing with. Once I started taking iron, my fatigue decreased quite a bit and I felt halfway normal again. Instead of taking a separate iron supplement, I tried a prenatal vitamin. I was hesitant, because I've never been able to take multivitamins, pregnant or not, because they've always made me sick. But in a twist of irony, taking a prenatal vitamin actually made me LESS sick. Strange, I know. (A note on this: not all prenatal vitamins are created equal, so read the labels. I was shocked to learn that some contain hardly any iron or vitamin B6, which really helps with morning sickness.) I also took Unisom during the early stages of my pregnancy to help me sleep. Again, this is safe for pregnant women, and I was having insomnia and nightmares causing me to loose valuable sleep. The good thing with Unisom is that it's safe, but also it didn't put me in a haze. If Jackson woke up in the middle of the night, I was still able to hear him right away, jump out of bed and take care of him. It just helped me sleep better when I was sleeping. However, the benefits were short lived and eventually it started causing me to feel sluggish, so I stopped taking it. I still have periods of insomnia and nightmares, but now I'm at the stage where I'm just uncomfortable and can't sleep anyway. This is my body's way of preparing me for taking care of a newborn, so a sleeping pill is out of the question at this point.

So this is kind of like my pregnancy survival guide. Rest, eat, drink fluids, keep moving and just relax. Seems pretty simple, but for a busy working mother like myself, it was a shock to my system, one I feel I am still adjusting to. Now that I'm in the second trimester, it is slowly getting better. Still, I've come to accept that my way of life has completely changed, for the best.

And in case your wondering, no, I didn't include anything related to hormones being out of control or emotional instability. Why? Because this can be used to an advantage. Yes, I cry while watching the Weather Channel, and if you call me out on it you better be prepared to pay the consequences. The simple fact is I'm pregnant. If I have to deal with it, so do you. Take me when I'm being sweet and stand back when I'm not, and you better be quick on your feet to see the difference.

In the end, it's all worth it and I can't wait to hold our new little creation. We find out in January if it's a boy or girl (yes, I want to know. I need to know. Plus, Derek and I have a bet) and the due date is May 31, so we're hoping to add another May baby to the family. We have names picked out, but I don't want to share them just yet. And how does Jackson feel about all this? He rests his head against my belly and says "baby in there. I be nice to baby." and when I ask him if he's going to be a good big brother he says "yeah, I good big brother."

It's a funny thing when you realize you're life is kind of perfect...