"I have looked at you in millions of ways and I have loved you in each."
Please, when you say this, I beg that you are looking at your own reflection and not some poor schmuck that you think will solve all your problems.
Love is real. Love is amazing. This morning I looked at your father and realized that even after 11 years and 3 kids and all the fights that I love him, that I am in love with him, probably more now than ever before.
But this saying does not apply to us, and I don't want you to grow up thinking that love is all unicorns and butterflies and some form of royalty on a white horse. I don't want you to think that your sole purpose in any relationship is to be wholly and entirely in love all the freakin' time. Because it's not.
Your role in a relationship is to love, yes, but by means of support and honesty and a deep caring for the other person's well being. You might not always like them. Hell, you might not always love them. And that's okay. Sometimes that will mean that it's over. Sometimes it won't.
Here's the secret that most people don't admit: they don't always love their partner. I've looked at your father before and not loved him. I know, shocking. In fact, there's been a level of despise, a level of "what the hell was I thinking?" There's been a wandering eye, but never a wandering heart. Because the simple truth of the matter is that we are better together. Not always great together. But I know that I am better when I am with him. He doesn't complete me, and he doesn't make life worth living, but I'd hate to live a life without him.
What I'm saying is, if you hinge your entire aspect of happiness on someone else or the idea of love, you will forever be continually disappointed. Be a willing participant in the throngs of love and all the amazing heart-skipping moments it can offer. But never, ever think that you are not worthy just because someone doesn't love you back.
Don't ever feel like you have to compromise yourself for the sake of love. Remember that you hold the cards. You make the decisions. What's right will be right and what ends up being wrong will be a powerful lesson. People will break your heart. You will end up making someone cry. Sometimes you will care. Sometimes you won't. Love is something that happens. There is no magical situation, no fairy godmother with a wand, no prince waiting for his princess.
There is you, a bright and beautiful human being, capable of giving and taking and feeling and kindness and above all, being smart about the human nature and forgiving of it's consequences. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Do it with grace or with a sickening bone-cracking thud. Don't be afraid of getting hurt or learning lessons, and don't be fooled by the sly creatures that prey on you.
Because when it happens, it will happen, slowly and all at once (to quote the infamous John Green). Most times, it will fade, but when the time comes, it will last. You will have your doubts, but at the end of the day, you will love. Love is about meeting the right person at the right time in the right circumstances and when you are in the right frame of mind. Love is scary, it's sad, it's angry. But it's beautiful.
Love is something you already have in you. It's a part of who you are. It's an ever evolving universe inside your soul. When you meet that person, you will end up loving their flaws, their quirks. You'll even love that they make you mad and will miss this when they are not around.
But before any of this can happen, you have to love yourself. Look at yourself in a million ways and love each and every one of them. Without this, love is not possible.
And never, for one split second, let anyone convince you that even one of those million ways is not worth loving.
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