What I'm Teaching My Children About Thanksgiving

I couldn't believe it. There I was, standing in a home improvement store on November 1st, the day after Halloween, walking through aisles upon aisles cluttered with Christmas decor.

It was like a Christmas bomb had gone off. I could imagine the staff at 12:01am on November 1st, standing behind a safe barricade, detonating a tiny bomb. Tinsel, garland and sparkles fell all around in a flurry of fake snow. Bing Crosby's version of White Christmas echoed from the metal rafters. Plastic green trees popped up in rows, always perfectly round and fluffed, no messy turning to find the right side required. Ornaments hung in rows on displays, stockings made in China hung on plastic and cardboard fireplace mantels. "Tis' the Season" and plaques proclaiming "JOY" dotting the festive landscape. And let's not forget the giant inflatable Santa or his reindeer up top, waving to all the little boys and girls as they walk by with their want (I mean, Christmas) lists. Oh my, what a lovely sight to behold.

But I digress.

Because this isn't about Christmas.

Whoa. Wait, you say. This is the Christmas season! Halloween is over! Put together the tree! Hang the lights!

Slow your roll.

I took my son with me to town last night and was amazed at how many people had trees lit up in their large picture windows and balconies decorated with lights. My son, naturally, was very excited.

"Ooh, they're having Christmas! When will we have Christmas?"

I tried to explain that despite the decorations, music and ads on TV, that it wasn't Christmas yet. We would be getting our Christmas tree after Thanksgiving.

"Maybe they forgot about Thanksgiving," he innocently observed.

Yes, son, maybe they did forget about Thanksgiving.

This prompted me to ponder how I was going to teach my children about Thanksgiving, a valuable lesson that was so desperately needed in the wake of the Christmas explosion. But what was I going to teach them?

I'd grown up knowing that Thanksgiving was the beginning of the holiday season. It was a time for family to come together, to eat a great feast, to spend time together and to give thanks for all the blessings we've had during the year. It was about turkey and pumpkin pie and football and a warm house that smelled like cloves and laughter radiating from the kitchen.

After doing some research, I know what to teach my children about this "forgotten" holiday.

1) Thanksgiving is not an American holiday.
Celebrations of thanks can be found in almost all cultures and has happened long before the Pilgrims feasted with the Wampanoag tribe. Many cultures, including Egyptians, Greeks and Romans, would celebrate a successful fall harvest with a feast of giving thanks. There also wasn't just one Thanksgiving on a specified date each year, but whenever one was warranted. Usually, the feast ended some sort of fasting period due to limited resources.

2) Thanksgiving is a religious holiday for many cultures.
Who were people thanking for a successful harvest with this bountiful feast? Whichever god they believed in. It was truly a feast of giving thanks for all the hard work and good fortune that would allow them to sustain another winter or dry season, that would allow them and their children to continue living.

3) Thanksgiving has both political and economical aspirations.
Since English settlers first landed, versions of Thanksgiving were celebrated all over the colonies. It was typically in the fall to celebrate a successful harvest, or in the case of Puritans, whenever a feast of thanks was warranted. It wasn't until 1836, during the height of the civil war, that President Lincoln established Thanksgiving as the final Thursday in November. In his proclamation, he asked "all Americans to ask God to 'commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife' and to 'heal the wounds of the nation.'" (http://www.history.com/topics/thanksgiving/history-of-thanksgiving). 

In 1939, President Franklin Roosevelt changed the date to the third Thursday in November to stimulate the economy after the Great Depression. This was solely to lengthen the holiday shopping period, so next time you want to blame corporate American for the commercialization of Christmas, hold your tongue. At the time, this was met with much opposition, and the holiday was moved back to the final Thursday in 1941.

By today's standards, the last quarter of the year is what makes or breaks most businesses. Black Friday has become a holiday all it's own, and as evident by this year, the scratching for more "economic stimulus" starts earlier than ever. Stores are now open on Thanksgiving in order to make a buck, and those people working are lured by that same buck with holiday pay and other perks. After working for corporate America, I can tell you that no matter how much the company says it is volunteer, it's not. Not everyone is allowed to volunteer, and if enough volunteers aren't garnered from the promises made, then voluntary becomes mandatory. This is part of the reason I left the corporate world to raise my children full time and to teach them that chasing the almighty dollar will not guarantee a happy nor productive life. But I'm getting ahead of myself. 

Okay, now I'm getting a little cynical. While this is the season of economic growth, I do appreciate that it is still the season of giving thanks. It has also become the season of giving. These are the things I will teach my children.

I will teach them to give thanks for our harvest of carrots, potatoes and onions in the cellar, of apples, zucchini and tomatoes in the freezer. They will give thanks for all the firewood we have to keep us warm during the winter. They will give thanks for the clothes on their back and the roof over their heads. I will teach them to give thanks to the Soldiers and Veterans that gave us our freedom. I will teach them to give thanks to the farmers and ranchers that provide us food.

I will even teach them to give thanks for their ability to go to a shopping center and exchange money for items. However, I will then teach them to give back by giving said items to those that need them. I will teach them to give to others, not because they have enough, but because no one should go without. I will teach them to help others, and not just during this time of year, but all year round.

The actual holiday of Thanksgiving may be on the verge of being forgotten, but the idea doesn't appear to be disappearing with it. Thanks have been giving long before a nationally recognized holiday, and it's up to me to teach my children to continue with that idea.

"Maybe they'll celebrate Thanksgiving after Christmas," my son said, regarding the house that already had the Christmas tree shining in the window.

What a beautiful concept. Sounds like I'm on the right track.

{P.S. - And for those of you that already have your trees and Christmas decorations up or are already planning your Black Friday shopping agenda, by no means do I intend to wag my finger. If the history of Thanksgiving proves anything, it's that everybody has their own traditions. I promise to also teach my children this. If that is your way of celebrating the season with your loved ones, then please, continue those traditions.}

sources: Plimoth Plantation. Thanksgiving History. http://www.plimoth.org/learn/MRL/read/thanksgiving-history
History.com. History of Thanksgiving. http://www.history.com/topics/thanksgiving/history-of-thanksgiving

A Little Sunday Rant

There's a lot of negativity in the world, especially in the news. It's easy to display your opinion as fact and to become upset with those who have a different opinion. It's also easy to debate with others who simply like the act of debating, thus judging and belittling others, without any positive action potentially coming out of said debate. There are far too many that don't understand a world outside their own personal bubble, and even more dangerous, those that simply don't care to understand it. Have an open mind people, and before we start pointing fingers at "the government" or "the politicians" or those places and people on the other side of the country or the other side of the oceans, realize that those aren't *things* but people. We are all people, and we need each other. Seclusion can deteriorate and kill a species, and even though there are billions of humans on this earth, we are secluding ourselves in other ways. The very advances in communication that were meant to bring us together are now giving us reasons to cast each other out and segregate each other. We group people into categories and decide if we like them or not, if we will listen to them or not, if we will help them or not and if we will be nice to them or not. What we should be doing is realizing we are all in the same category. We are all humans, capable of thinking and feeling and acting. We all have valuable opinions that should be heard. We all deserve help in our time of need without any expectations of a return favor. We all deserve a smile and a "How are you today?" because that can make a difference. Anger is such an easy emotion. It's easy to feel, easy to justify and easy to act on. It's easy to use as a weapon. It's easier to talk about and to talk with, easier to debate on and way too easy to teach. It takes little time to be angry but a lot of energy, leaving us with the false feeling of accomplishment that we have done something productive, when we have really just helped destroy ourselves a little more. What's hard is to listen - the real listening, without the thinking in your own head of your own thoughts and own opinions and own response while the other person is still talking. It's hard to listen, to attempt to understand what the other person is saying, to ask questions to clarify what you don't understand. In a given conversation, how many times do you say the word "I"? Count them next time. Just by taking that word out of the equation can turn talking into a conversation. When was the last time you felt genuinely happy for someone, or gave them a genuine compliment? When was the last time you didn't talk about yourself but kept turning the conversation onto the other person - not just to do it, but because you actually wanted to hear them? And was it good news they were sharing, or was it something evoking anger, injustice, or sadness? I don't watch the news. It's depressing. I read the news, sometimes, but I'm careful of what articles to read. I used to Twitter, but it's an awful place full of disparaging (albeit witty) comments. I do use Facebook, a lot, because I have family and friends on there, and if I don't want to see something, I can choose not to see it. I do my best to surround myself and my family with good people, and I'm happy to report that there are a lot of them out there. There is ugly in the world, and I realize that a world with only beauty simply cannot exist. Without the ugly, how will we appreciate the beauty? How would we learn from the ugly in order to help future generations?

You can call me a hippie, delusional, or unrealistic. I agree with all of it. But it's not about me. It's about my children and how I am teaching them to see the world and other people. I want them to see more than the corn fields that surround their quaint little country town. I want them to look at the corn and know that there is a world out beyond them, a giant, beautiful world, full of joy and controversy, the good and the bad. I want them to know that their attitude has a lot of power and that it impacts others to a much greater extent than they realize. I want them to use that power for good and to make a difference where one is needed. And I want them to know they can make that difference without bringing others down, without waging a war, without stepping on their fellow humans as a sacrifice for the greater good.

Now if you excuse me, I'm going to put on my rose-colored glasses and go out and enjoy this beautiful life.

Chickens of the World

"If you hang out with chickens, you're going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you're going to fly." ~ Dr. Steve Maraboli

Wait... What's wrong with chickens?

This is one of those inspirational quotes that strikes me as a little odd. Before I start, here is my disclaimer: I've never heard of Dr. Steve Maraboli. I Googled him and checked out his information. I have nothing personal against him, other than questioning and disagreeing with a lot of things he says. If you are a fan, no judgements on my part. If his work is helping you, I'm very happy for you. If you're not a fan, I'm not about to jump on any sort of bandwagon. If you don't know who he is, Google him now and form your own opinion.

Again, this isn't anything personal against the good Dr. himself. I just tend to question things, and when I read this quote my first question was "What's so bad about being a chicken?"

The quote itself is misleading and leaves a lot of questions besides this first one. Question number two: what does "chickens" mean? Is chicken a metaphor for "normal" or mundane or stupid? If so, that would make the eagles "special" or exciting or smart? Clearly, there are two distinct and separate identities being compared here. I get the eagle part. Why a chicken?

Okay, so chickens are chickens. They peck at the ground, they eat, they lay eggs, the day is done and yadda yadda yadda. They spend their life in a weird chicken daze where time doesn't exist and the world is just strange and it's best not to ask questions so just peck at the dirt and be a chicken. Is that the kind of chicken we're stereotyping here?

But what if you are a chicken? Is the quote then saying don't be a chicken? Don't be the thing that you were born to be, change the one thing about yourself that you can't change? That's an odd twist of inspiration.

Question number three: what do chickens clucking have to do with eagles soaring? If a true comparison is going to be made, then chickens clucking should be compared to eagles whistling. Fun fact: eagles are actually pretty quiet, emitting series of high-pitched whistles or single, soft notes. In that true comparison, it would read "if you hang out with chickens, you're going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you're going to whistle."

Turning it the other way and the comparison becomes an eagle flying to a chicken... flying. Yes, chickens can fly, although most domesticated chickens can usually only manage small bursts of flight over fences. But chickens do fly. So wouldn't the comparison then be "if you hang out with chickens, you're going to fly and if you hang out with eagles, you're going to fly?" For some odd reason, this one makes a lot more sense to me than the original.

Question number four: am I supposed to want to fly? Is that the ultimate goal of this quote? Flying is cool. Learn to fly. Hang out with the eagles. You'll be awesome. If this is the main aspect of the inspirational quote, then the first part is kind of unnecessary. "Hang out with eagles and you will fly." Those eight words have the exact same impact as the original without stereotyping chickens and their clucking.

Which begs question number five: why the chickens? We can actually leave the chickens out of it all together. There wasn't any reason for them to be involved other than to compare them to eagles. Let's do a visual: picture a chicken standing next to an eagle. Yep. They are different. They evoke different feelings. For me, a chicken makes me think of a farm and the country life and self-sustainable living and those thoughts give me warm fuzzies. An eagle makes me instantly proud to be an American and gives me the ideology that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I don't see a chicken and an eagle side by side and think that I need to choose or that one is better than the other. I see a chicken and an eagle. I sure as hell don't see an inspirational quote.

I do get the whole point of it, however. Why settle for okay when you can be spectacular? Don't just sit around and peck at the ground! Spread your wings and fly like a fierce eagle! Unless, of course, you're perfectly happy sitting around and pecking the ground. Unless, let's say flying is quite your thing. Unless you really have everything you want in that pen on the farm and you're grateful to have it. I mean, other chickens probably want to fly, and they should, but that doesn't mean you have to be like them.

Which brings me back to question number one: what's wrong with chickens? Why is being a chicken such a bad thing? Why should anyone feel bad about wanting to be a chicken? Chickens are cool, too.

So whether you cluck like a chicken or fly like an eagle or waddle like a duck or howl like a wolf or think like a human, there is only one question you need to ask yourself: Am I Happy? If the answer is no, then change it. You can do that. You're in control of your own happiness, if not by action, then by attitude. Make yourself happy.

And if the answer is yes, then congratulations. Cluck on, my chicken friend.